A Word From Our Sponsors
Banana Tree Bulk-Up System
Are you tired of being a thin, slight person, often being squeezed into tight corners? Are you fed up with the countless other heavier people, always jostling you out of lines and never even noticing you were there? Then don't fret, we have just the thing for you!
From the laboratories of the HandK Company, from proud inventors Harold Ramesh and Kumar Lee (no connection to the film), is the Banana Tree Bulk-Up system! Guaranteed to give anyone thin the right amount of weight gain, and a leaner and more noticeable frame.
With trees harvested from the southernmost parts of Busuanga, where the bananas were found to have special protein properties that are just enough to bulk up anyone with bones showing through their skin, the Banana Tree Bulk-Up System is designed provide the optimal amount of added body mass meant to get you movin' it with the maidens!
"It really works well, dude. You see, the problem with most people who are thin is their metabolism. Our system specifically finds a way to get around that problem. Not all the weight gain systems out there work all the time. Our system, on the other hand, is designed to work every time for everyone, everywhere." shares Harold.
"The way our system works, is that you don't eat the bananas. You don't eat any part of the tree. The thing is, you wear the tree, and with the weight of the branches, the leaves, the soil and the pot, you gain an instant 10 to 12 pounds! And you don't have to worry about any chemical imbalance that may occur."
The Banana Tree Bulk-Up System comes with a special harness, so the tree isn't noticeable as you walk around town strutting your leaner and hunkier frame. The trees and the soil are custom-designed by the HandK company, made to be maintenance free and having no need to be watered at all. The plant gets its moisture from the perspiration you produce while carrying it.
"We've sent a few photos of our number one customer so far, Paolo Perez, so you'll see how beneficial and effective our product is. You'll also see how convenient it is, and how easy to use. You'll see from the photos that the tree isn't really that noticeable with our specially designed harness, it's as if someone just pasted it on Mr. Perez's picture without much knowledge of how to use Photoshop."
So pick up your phones now, and call them at 566-5656, and order your very own Banana Tree Bulk-Up System, for that leaner, meaner, hunkier, sweatier you!
